with love
Mummy

Seriously, yes, it’s hard to do. The fundamental stumbling block that I see – with respect to… everything – is almost that we live in completely separate worlds, a largely secular one, and one colored by the particulars of the Catholic faith (I hope you know I don’t mean that in any way to offend you). On so many things you say, I have a reaction against them because of where I stand, which is somewhat like an opposite shore. There are so many premises that I accept – belief in God as proclaimed in the Bible and through the Church, and the authority of that Church to proclaim His teaching – without which most of what I say is hard to swallow.

As my own aside, I know I don’t hold the words or magical knowledge to change yours or anyone else’s mind on anything, but I do appreciate your willingness to hear me out. I’m not 100% clear on the good that comes out of it yet, but it beats most internet discussions I’ve been a part of by a long mile.

I think that our fundamental stumbling block with respect to my racism analogy is the differing degree to which we are able to separate one’s sexual preference from actual sexual practices. I think that the two are inseparable. In my humble opinion gay people should not have to curb what for heterosexuals is viewed to be a totally natural biological impulse so that they can stay within the good graces of a church. I’d suggest that gays, like heterosexual folks, should save physical intimacy for committed relationships but I find it cruel and unrealistic to suggest that they should altogether suppress their sexuality. Indeed, I think doing so causes profound psychological damage.

Even on the basis of the connection you make, I still don’t see a clear similarity between racism – which aims necessarily to denigrate and harm a group – and the position that sexual acts are only suitable within the context of a male-female marriage. Holding the latter position in no way impacts my feelings towards homosexuals that I encounter. Do I disapprove of the behavior to which they are strongly inclined? Of course. But if I were to have feelings similar to those of a racist against everyone who simply did something I didn’t think was right, I’d hate everyone, including myself.

Judging a behavior is not the same as judging a person. And accepting and loving an individual is not the same as extending approval – active or tacit – to every desire and behavior they exhibit. Almost everyone draws a line that limits what range of sexual activity and inclination they consider morally acceptable. It just happens that at this time and in this country, where you’ve drawn the line seems reasonable and in tune with the majority opinion of American culture, whereas mine seems dogmatic and unreasonable.

Regarding the comparisons to racism, there were many folks who justified their racist beliefs on notions that blacks were genetically inferior and predisposed to engage in certain behaviors deemed to be socially unacceptable. The comparison doesn’t require as much of a leap as you believe.